showing up is a big theme in my life right now

it seems like i am no longer able to just do the expected thing

i am being required to show up

to live as evidence of my truth

to be as the amazing Pixie Campbell says " a walking prayer"

this is bloody hard

i have to be brave, i have to do things that i can see displease others, i have to make time to do my work,

these things are against my training (to give give give to others without replenishment)

doing them has a whole cheerleading squad of inner critics on an occupy movement in my head

but when i step up anyway, to the easel, to the altar, to the outdoors, to my friends, to this course i am pouring my heart into, then the critics are less audible and i get to see beauty unfold

one visible way i can explain this is the amazing women who are attracted to WILD - i mean fucking amazing

another way is with my painting... i have been turning up to my easel and engaging with what is there - not the artcritic with the beret but the colours and the movement - and i have been excited by what unfolds

but then i was called to go a whole other level...Pixie had shown us on SouLodge how to journey with the plant people... and so i journeyed with harakeke- flax,,, asking her if i could share her essence on the canvas  and this showed up - it is not finished and is a bad photograph i am sorry but she excites me so much i feel part of the essence of that amazing,tenacious, giving, connecting plant present when i look at this...

i am stepping up to hold the space for ceremony, spirit, beauty and light to work through me

this is holy work

i have had the great priviledge of stepping through the flap of the  SouLodge that Pixie Campbell has created.
 
It is an online haven for seekers and dreamers

It is a place where those of us who have a layer of skin too few

a heart that seems to be too tender for this world of sharp edges and harsh extremes

eyes that see more than the surface

can go and drink deep from the nourishment that our souls always knew was there, could scent in the breeze or running through aquifers too deep to reach on our own

Pixie has made a vessel with SouLodge that holds the nourishment we need, so that our wings, our hooves, our tails are strong enough to set us free into the world, 

able to do our deepest work and offer our gifts as we were meant to be

whole and alive

it really is that good

Magic has happened - far too magic to be coincidence - healings have occured and connections within myself that are like coming home and revealing a new truth all at once

If you are really looking for deep spirit nurturing and a community of amazoniangorgeousness

SouLodge is for you    

   

Ms Pixie Campbell makes magic in her Soulodge... her flame brings magical souls from all around the world and her instruction makes canines and felines of every persuasion prick up their ears, sniff the air... maybe yowl a little

Part of our work with Pixie is craft - and this week we made masks, invoking the energy we wanted to play with ...   

and i want wolf

i want to run with my nose to the ground, scenting the new path, scenting my nourishment, i want to howl at the moon, be a good mother, have time for play and time for the hunt and time for rest.

i want to be part of a pack, snarl when i need to, groom when i need to, to let what needs to die die and what needs to flourish come alive.... i want the wild in me to burgeon 

and i made this with old paper and rags and scrap tissue and stitching and heartshaped stones and spirals and peices of my wedding dress fabric

and the tension was all wrong on the machine - i see the pull between these qualities and my life are not quite right yet... but i am able to trust that will tighten out right in time...

and after i had finished this i went on to facebook to post the photo and there was this quote from Tama Kieves 

"It takes courage to keep sniffing the ground to discover what makes us come alive.  I have an identity in what has brought joy before.  But the trick to staying alive is alwys to keep dying, letting go of what was, even the shiny and true and obey the honesty of now"        

the metaphor of the wild, the sniffing the ground - the synchronicity of it arriving as i offer my wolf vision to the community i am growing to treasure...

synchronicity is like a kiss on the cheek from the Goddess