this is Freyja
she is an SPCA special... the lady at the cattery who deals in Burmese and Burmanese and Rag Dolls thinks she is part Abyssinian because she is about the fightiest creature i have ever met... and i think she wants to give her a fancier lineage just so she isn't bringing down the tone of the place... 

we should have known when we met her

she fitted into my hand (and i have small hands) but she was rocking her cage she bounced around so much, she had broken claws and teeth from attacking stuff with such vigor.

we all wore bloody scars from her getting to know us

and i admit i thought we had made the wrong choice

i missed our previous cat who loved me with a passion and who started the day curled around my neck purring 

and the one before that who was so kind and used to love the dog with a passion

no of this applies to Freyja (named for the Goddess of Boldness whose chariot was pulled by huge cats)
but lately i have been noticing that her love comes in the form of company

she comes to rest wherever we are. 

under the couch if we are drinking tea.
in the orchard if i am watering.
under the washing line if i am hanging out the washing.
chasing my brush from behind the canvas if i am painting
laying behind my computer if i am working

she still attacks (without teeth and claws most times now)

but she is also developing companionship

she is her wild and frenetic self but she loves us by being there

i have often wanted things to look a certain way
friendships, work, love, motherhood

and been disappointed when those expectations are not reached

but what have i missed out on looking for what i expect and missing what is there and what is beautiful? 

ps Jen Lee did an awesome poem yesterday just so you know!